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After Lavalife, I only know of a few others that are worth mentioning, although I've yet to find one that's truly ideal.
There are a lot of adult dating sites that don't have a lot of users, or use sneaky marketing tactics like the bait and switch you're referring to.
My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section; you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters).
You can use different handles in each section under the same account too, so no one will be any wiser if you want to advertise for one thing in one place without ruining your chances for something more should it come up.
We enforce a zero tolerance level to any negative or undesirable comments or pictures.
The offending items will be immediately deleted and with the offending member permanently banned.