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Now one would have thought the situation is this one. Then when I cannot any longer control myself, I explode.

No, I claim precisely this moment of explosion are the most precisely trained structures, artificial, if you want.

Philosopher and social critic Slavoj Žižek dislikes the sense of self-commodification and self-manipulation innate in online dating. This isn't necessarily an endorsement of bold and honest self-expression, because as Žižek explains, it's important to maintain manners and structure.

Let’s say I meet a lady; we are attracted to each other; we say okay, you are — all the usual stuff — your place, my place, whatever we meet there. I come with, she comes with her plastic penis, electric dildo.

But the cause of desire in the sense of what makes you fall in love is always a sign of imperfection.

So that’s for me a big problem in I don’t, I’m not doing it so I don’t know enough of it how to include into online dating this element of contingency.

This is what in psychoanalytic theory we call object cause of desire.

Not object of desire, object of desire I think in this case is a woman or a man or whatever.

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